Water under the bridge

For when we fought, you searched high and low for me, even though you were mad too but you’re more worried about me.
Laughter everywhere just made the day more depressing, not even the clowns in front of me were helping.
And then you ran all the way from I don’t know where and hugged me real tightly. As much as many people were looking, I really did not want to make a scene but tears just flowed freely down my cold cheeks.
"Shhhh… it’s alright now… don’t cry…" just made me cry even harder.

We saw a whole full grown rainbow together after.
You’re afraid of chickens. You like pigs. And ducklings. Scary huge bunnies.

Let’s go to the zoo one day. =)

说不难过是骗人的
心是有些许绞痛
最好的都给你了

是的
是时候了
深层水已不在了
我也会努力的

祝福你

分手1天后

假若我们相遇

我会看着你的眼睛

用泪水告诉你

不愿意看你离去

只要你回头

重新开始多少次我都愿意

分手1周后

假若我们相遇

我不知所措

直到你消失在人群里

我才知道

这个夜晚陪伴我的

只剩下哭泣

分手1个月

假若我们相遇

我会掉转眼光

假装没有看见你

却在心中升起希望

希望听到你叫我的声音

听见我每晚魂牵梦绕的声音

分手1季了

假若我们相遇

我会停下脚步

静静地站在街角

不想被你的快乐看见我的哀伤

已经注定的结局

好不容易平复下来的心情

不想再被打扰

分手已经半年

假若我们相遇

打招呼的表情可以是淡定

心里涌起的

却还是深深的惋惜

也许还有恨

是爱情留下的痕迹

分手1年了

When a man strays, the finger is immediately pointed at the other woman, the home-wrecker. Never mind that you need two hands to clap. Of course it was her. She seduced him and took him away from his wife and kids.

A mistress needs to have a heart of stone and be very focused. When you’re with him, there are just the two of you. You cannot talk about his world, or yours will come crumbling. You would end up insecure and needy. Yet, you know you will never fully own him.

I think he came into my life for a reason; to let me know there was nothing wrong with me, that I could please a man, that i am a woman. I am not proud of what I did,  but I don’t regret it.

We are not meant to be.

it was…. more than what i expected.
this is so different.
i’m beginning to like it. =D

i’ve been avoiding this place for weeks now.
to write it requires you to think. thinking, will only surface too many unwanted thoughts.
it’s hard to be genuinely happy. but i’m lucky to have friends that try really hard. =)

i had a dream last night.
i saw how close they are, how happy they are.
in my many fragments of dreams, everyone is telling me they’re together now/they’re closer than ever.
and i know, as much as i hate to admit it, i’m out of the picture long long time ago.
that i never have a say to it.
this is not an accusation. this is just a dream.
but ultimately, i want you to be happy.
telle est ma prière. =)

it’s been 2 months now. what has changed?
everything. i feel very different now.
kinda hard to adapt.
to stop a habit that has been ongoing for 3 years.
times i still feel incomplete. but its lesser now.
times i feel my future is bleak. but i’m trying harder.
times i want to talk and laugh with you, to hold you in my arms again. but it’s getting numb.

i believe, one day we’ll be able to look back and smile.
sit down and maybe have a cup of coffee.
introducing him/her. exchanging wedding invitations.
i’m preparing, so that when the day comes, i’ll be able to give you my brightest smile. =)

the word "too late" is haunting me.
too late to change.
too late to try.
too late to restore anything.
too late to appreciate.
too late to learn.
too late to be good.
too late to be sorry.
too late too late all too late.

so u know what?

i am gonna be a early person.
like my father said, learn from your mistakes. never let the time spent go to waste.